Revisiting my diary...

Was reminded of Yudhishthira from Mahabharata, the great Indian epic, while sifting thourgh an old diary of mine. There is a legend that says that he was not able to learn an apparantly simple lesson as "सदा सत्य बोलो, क्रोध मत करो" because he could not imbibe the essence of it in his behaviour.

I chanced upon a quotation equally difficult to follow, if not more..."Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but does not take you anywhere" :)

So simple and yet when it comes to the nitty gritties of everyday life, am sure not even a true blue Hunky Dory can avoid worrying!

Hey btw...for some, worrying is therapeutic too...read on...

http://sunanda-offthebeatenpath.blogspot.in/2010/05/irrational-feelings.html

enjoy!

I was the second of my parents...

Being second has nothing to do with inferiority complex. It is more about knowing your position in life; how you see yourself...


Even my parents gave me a second grade treatment, so that's the only one I had known. Naturally, I was always comfortable at that level till the time I was mercilessly pulled down and thrown off the list completely. It is then that I started feeling neglected, my position threatened...me taken for granted...

Ofcourse, this realization does not make me happy. Am also sad because something died in me, innocence perhaps...yes, the tendency to be nice by default is long dead in me; now I think of the probable repercussions first. This is the essential drawback of growing 'mature'.

(another piece from the novel, I would surely publish one day!)

Remember this one? -I love the moral it gives

शक्ति और शमा

रामधारी सिंह दिनकर

क्षमा, दया, तप, त्याग, मनोबल
सबका लिया सहारा
पर नर व्याघ सुयोधन तुमसे
कहो कहाँ कब हारा?

क्षमाशील हो ॠपु-सक्षम
तुम हुए विनीत जितना ही
दुष्ट कौरवों ने तुमको
कायर समझा उतना ही

अत्याचार सहन करने का
कुफल यही होता है
पौरुष का आतंक मनुज
कोमल होकर खोता है

क्षमा शोभती उस भुजंग को
जिसके पास गरल हो
उसका क्या जो दंतहीन
विशराहित विनीत सरल हो
I Love this one in bold...

तीन दिवस तक पंथ मांगते
रघुपति सिन्धु किनारे
बैठे पढते रहे छंद
अनुनय के प्यारे प्यारे

उत्तर में जब एक नाद भी
उठा नहीं सागर से
उठी अधीर धधक पौरुष की
आग राम के शर से

सिन्धु देह धर त्राहि-त्राहि
करता आ गिरा शरण में
चरण पूज दासता ग्र्र्हन की
बंधा मूढ़ बंधन में

सच पूछो तो शर में ही
बस्ती है दीप्ति विनय की
संधिवचन संपूज्य उसीका
जिसमे शक्ति विजय की

सहनशीलता, क्षमा, दया को
तभी पूजता जग है
बल का दर्प चमकता उसके
पीछे जब जगमग

Read Something Wonderful on Silence

"Sticks and stones are hard on bones, aimed with angry art; words can sting like anything, but Silence Breaks the Heart. "
-- Phyllis McGinley

Those who are familiar with this blog would have read the post titled 'The Golden Virtue', written ages ago. Recently, I read this wonderful quotation which reminded me of the same... http://sunanda-offthebeatenpath.blogspot.com/2006/11/golden-virtue.html- its postscript rather.

It is so true that silence of a loved one leaves you feeling wretched, guilty and miserable. It is the penultimate tactic under emotional blackmail/violence.
Comments invited...

Irrational Feelings

There are times when worrying is therapeutic and this happens only in females...times when any attempt, more so insistent attempts at trying to pacify you and settle your anxieties, irritate you no end-because worrying is the only thing you want to do. It is different from wallowing in self pity...it is not even a passing phase but something lesser than that- a bubble of emotion with just a 'while' as the lifespan.

It is illogical and emotional and yet the truth. Since I feel it is a typically female experience-females being the more expressly emotional part of humanity, homemakers and primary carers in a family, I think what I mean would be better understood by married women.

God! On second reading, if the intensity of and with which I have written this piece is understood by even one other person, s/he would be deserve a medallion. : )

Using Cuss Words

Using profanities in language suggests a limited vocabulary, reflects on an indecent mind and a perverse upbringing, in consequence to which one feels inhibited to express oneself without relying on expletives.

Indiscriminate and often mindless use of abusive words set me thinking today ...

Take no tension, its just a thought. :))

Finally Chauffer driven...

One of the many perks of being driven around is that you get ample time to sit back and read. Managed to complete 'Two States' by Chetan Bhagat...nice simple read (as against a great piece of literary work) with just the right dose of witty comments at the right places. And yes, it is a perfect bollywood movie plot again. A cute narrative of what it takes sometimes to convince ones parents in the Indian inter-caste marriage scenario...good one!

A wonderful poem by Harivanshrai Bachchan

This poem has amazing potential...

जीवन में एक सितारा था
माना वोह बेहद प्यारा था
वोह डूब गया तो डूब गया
अम्बर के आँगन को देखो
कितने इसके तारे टूटे
कितने इसके प्यारे छूटे
जो छूट गए फिर कहाँ मिले
पर बोलो टूटे तारों पर
कब अम्बर शोक मनाता है

जो बीत गयी सो बात गयी ...

जीवन में था वो एक कुसुम
थे उस पे नित्य न्योछावर तुम
वो सूख गया तो सूख गया
मधुवन की छाती को देखो
सूखी कितनी इसकी कलियाँ
जो मुरझाई फिर कहाँ खिली
पर बोलो सूखे फूलों पे
कब मधुवन शोक मनाता है ?

जो बीत गयी सो बात गयी...

जीवन में मधु का प्याला था
तुमने तन मन दे डाला था
वोह टूट गया तो टूट गया
मदिरालय का आँगन देखो
कितने प्याले हिल जाते हैं
गिर मिटटी में मिल जाते हैं
जो गिरते हैं कब उठते हैं
पर बोलो टूटे प्यालों में कब मदिरालय पछताता है ?

जो बीत गयी सो बात गयी...

मृदु मिटटी के हैं बने हुए
मधु घाट फूटा ही करतें हैं
लघु जीवन लेके आये हैं
प्याले टूटा ही करते हैं
फिर भी मदिरालय के अन्दर
मधु के घाट मधु के प्याले हैं
जो मादकता के मरे हैं
वो मधु लूटा ही करते हैं
वो कच्चा पीने वाला है
जिसकी ममता घाट प्यालों पर
जो सच्चे मधु से जला हुआ
कब रोता है चिल्लाता है?

जो बीत गयी सो बात गयी...

One of my favorites...needless to say!
Enjoy the learning!

Life's Experiences

Professional life is issue based (people hardly appreciate it)...you may agree with one person on one issue and completely disagree with the same individual on the next matter...display of blind faith and rigid loyalty in any one at the workplace is smartless and spineless at the same time. Smartless because you are not applying yourselves and letting your mind atrophy; Spineless because perhaps you do not have the guts to retort, refute or simply disagree...for it requires some conviction and courage to face the adversities that would eventually ensue upon disagreeing.

Ogden Nash has something wonderful to say regarding this...

"Sometimes with secret pride I sigh
To think how tolerant am I;
Then wonder which is really mine:
Tolerance or a rubber spine?

Ogden Nash, 'Yes and No', 1938

Ok, so it is heavy duty stuff, but do not let your brain take so much load guys... :)
Btw...I plan to include it in my book. Plagiarists beware:it's my life's experience! Go make some faults of your own! ;)

Yes, I am this and that...

Finally I seem to have found that opening to my book ...that would exlain 'me' completely :)

Since childhood I have been a person to whom brainwave comes only as an afterthought, come-back lines come way after the onslaught of insult...yes, I never was swift on the uptake.

So, you want to sue me over this?

:)

Just the beginning...more to come

Su

जब फ़ोन की घन्टी बजती है तो कहते हैं "हेलो"

The arrival of telecom revolution in my locality came as a rude shock to me when repeated entreaties to the sabziwallah to stop his pull-cycle failed. While running towards his cycle I wondered what the reason could be for this sudden deafness, when he shouted, a bit annoyed "मैडम फ़ोन पर हूँ"। I stopped midway, open mouthed and embarrassed। Upon overhearing the conversation, my jaw was ready to hit the ground

"मैडम मैं अभी दूसरी गली में हूँ...और १५ मिनट लगेंगे शाम नाथ मार्ग आने में........"

The busy man was explaining some other madam from some other gali when he would be there to sell...

As if this was not enough, my bai (a recent temporary replacement for the regular one) gave me her set of directions in the evening...

"बीबीजी अपना मोबाइल नम्बर दो..."

...it was a 'not-to-be-ignored' command and I hastily obliged... Pulling out her NOKIA, she beep-booped in a style so professional, it would have put Bipasha Basu of the 'Corporate' to shame! Dazzled and speechless I waited...

"बीबीजी में आपको missed call दे रही हूँ...आगे से रात में कब आना है उस नम्बर पर फ़ोन कर देना। "...A tart reminder that her time was not to be wasted like last night...I could give her a mute nod...what else। :)

Scribblings provoked by Jurisprudence...

Teaching can be an insightful activity, especially if it is Jurisprudence- the only subject of law that touches upon philosophy.

The following lines led me to think and write
[Our individualistic right centered thinking] institutionalises isolation, legitimises the egoistic pursuit of self interest, and turns each individual in an isolated monad (single and alone)-withdrawn into himself; a limited individual who is limited to himself...it draws a boundary around each individual which others are forbidden to cross, and confines him to his clearly demarcated and fully fortified world"


नानी तुम थी स्वतंत्रता सेनानी
तो सुनाओ न उस दौर की कोई कहानी...

बिटिया थी मैं सेनानी
और याद हैं मुझे कई कहानियाँ ज़ुबानी

बात है तब की जब हम कहते गर्व से थे..."हम हिन्दुस्तानी"
ये मेरी धरती धानी
जहाँ कोस कोस पर बदले पानी
चार कोस पे बानी...

अब कहाँ रही वो बात पुरानी
रह गई बस कहानी
दिलों मैं फासले और दूरियां हैं घनी
जल्दी बड़ी हो बिटिया...तुम्हें है ये नफरत मिटानी...

Faith...or? I wonder...

तुलसी भरोसे राम के निर्भय हो कर सोये
अनहोनी होती नहीं...होनी हो सो होए...

Faith always moves and intrigues me at the same time.

Belief or 'विश्वास' as one may put in Hindi...वोह अँधा ही होता है. Either it is there, in absolute; or absent abolutely. Any mediocrity here spells pretence, ostentation. Ramakrishna said this eons ago and I understand a new facet of it everytime I see people giving unto the Supreme...with weepy eyes,hands folded or raised in prayer before their God; my God; their hearts full of hope and mind full of conviction that everything would be OK...that this too will pass. So complete must be this feeling of 'faith'...intriguing indeed.

Just random thoughts stirred by the doha...

:)

DDA Housing Draw...RESULTS

OK friends...

Something purely in public interest!!

:))

You may access the DDA result from the following link:

http://sunanda.bharti.googlepages.com/ddahousingdrawresult2008

BTW, this is just because the DDA website is not opening...

Good luck then!

A wonderful Daadi-poti story ; )

The Shiva temple within the fort complex of Kumbhalgarh...simplicity is magnificence!
Legend says that the Rana was killed in this temple, by his son, while in prayers...for interiors, see the pic below...

So mesmerised had I been with Mughal history and architecture till now that it resulted in a step-motherly treatment being given to Hindu buildings and personalities. My recent wanderings into Rajasthan changed that and it is Maharana Kumbha who made a marked dent into that confined and biased mindset. An amatuer blog post as this would not do justice to the personality he was., so I would not attempt that...however, there is something that stuck to my memory from the 'light and sound show' at Chittorgarh fort...

...it was a couplet that ended with ..."कामधेनु तांडव करिए"

and so strong was the urge to get the text , meaning and background of this verse, it made me frantically, almost madly, surf the Internet and other accessible sources, so that I could tell you the story...and I admit that this post would make more sense to those who have been to the place...

Anyways, here is how the the fairy tale fable goes...

MAHARANA KUMBHA died in A.D. 1468.

What the light and sound show missed out on, and perhaps deliberately as it would have portrayed their 'maharana' in poor light, was that sometime before his death, Kumbha's mind showed signs of derangement. He, as has been documented, sometimes talked incoherently and to himself. In this state, once he left Kumbhalgarh to visit Eklingji, a temple in Udaipur. As he arrived near the temple, a cow standing by began to dance, making a long loud sound, usually made when cows are happy.

The Maharana, who am sure must have been dazed at the antics of the otherwise calm creature, said nothing at the time, but on return to Kumbhalmer, as Kumbhalgarh was then called, in a Durbar the next day, he suddenly uttered aloud कामधेनु तांडव करिए ...and kept on repeating this till everyone around him got worried and uneasy...

As the legend goes, an astrologer had told Maharana Kumbha that he would die by the hands of a Charan, (community, the members of which write poetry, are constant companions of the Rajputs, and sing their brave deeds.). Consequently, the Maharana expelled the whole of the Charan community from Mewar and confiscated their lands. One of them, however, had remained in the guise of a Rajput and he now told the nobles of the court that he understood the reason why the Maharana repeated those words, and that he could make the Maharana stop repeating them.

The nobles took him to the Maharana and as was his habit, Rana repeated the verse to him...

The Charan got up and confronting the
Maharana, recited the following चौपाई (short poem).

जद्द धर पर जोवती दीठ नागोर धरन्ति।
गायत्री संग्रहण देख मन माही दरंती॥
सुर्कोटी तेंतीस आण नीरंता चारो।
नहिं चरन्त पीवंत मनः करती हंकारो॥
कुम्भेन राणा हणिया कलम, आजंस उर डर उतरिए।
तिन दीह द्वार शंकर तने, कामधेनु तांडव करिए..

Translated into English (taken from 'Maharan Kumbha', by Har Bilas Sarda)...it would mean:

"Seeing that cows were killed in Nagor, gayatri (cow) was in great fright.
Thirty three crores of gods used to bring grass and water for her,
but she neither ate nor drank anything.

When Rana Kumbha after killing Mussalmans (conquering Nagor) has given protection to the cows, then the cow has became delighted
and dances with joy at the door of Shankar (Mahadeva)."

The Maharana might have been temporarily upset in the head, but was no fool. Upon hearing the verse so wonderfully completed in the form of a couplet, he remarked to the Charan:

"You are no Rajput: you are a Charan, but We are very pleased with you."

The man confessed to his true identity and asked for amnesty for his brethren...begged the Maharana to permit their return. Maharatta Kumbha, magnanimous as he was, granted the request, restored their lands and yes....from that day, gave up repeating those words.

: ) Intersting story in my opinion.

Anyways, one last word...he did not die at the hands of a Charan, but his own thankless son, who, as the legend says, stole up to the Maharana while he was in prayers and stabbed him to death.

The Shiva lingam made of Kasauti, the rare black stone used by goldsmiths for testing the authenticity of gold...the Maharana died while praying before it, as per the legend.

Keep the faith...

when rhyme loses reason
when moods suddenly change season
when a loved one dies
the mourner wails and cries
when answers need to be sought
and all is distraught...
when helplessness strikes
we look to the skies...


HE says "do not look at me"
you have the strength you seek
so rise O creation of mine...
the world was never for the meek.

So says my horoscope...

Often, I love to take a peek into the unknown realm to know what the future has in store for me, and more than often have I found wonderful advice in the most unlikely places...a tiny portion of that newspaper which foretells or rather claims to predict how your day is going to unfold...see what mine read:

"Your ideals aren't the law. While having a moral backbone is important, stay away from giving friends constant lectures on how best to live their lives. Show by example, not by nagging."

Not that it said something new; it has been my lives funda till now; but that I would find it staring at me from some obscure corner of an old newspaper, is what was bewildering!

Hmm...it is nonetheless a relieving feeling to know that there are people who think like me; that I am not alone on this planet...

Just a fleeting thought...:)

Lessons Life Teaches...

Two episodes happened recently which left me pensive as ever...

1) managed to lock myself out in the faculty, in the dead of the night (9:30PM) without my cell phone, car keys and worst of all without a penny on me (all locked up in the locker inside the teachers room, the watchman/caretaker nowhere to be seen) to even make a distress call...do not ask me how it happened, it just did: my fault

2) and then, on another day I was to take a special lecture with the help of a PPt and voila! the system bonked!: not my fault ;)

Baba used to say one thing, which just flashed in my memory ...

विद्या जो कंठ, और
रूपया जो अंट...केवल वोही आडे वक्त पर काम आता है!

And it is so very true. One might be having a great collection of books, treatises to flaunt, might have made elaborate notes for teaching...one might be having crores stashed away in lockers and banks, yet all may go in vain and what you have, with you always, something that cannot be taken away might bail you out!

You were great baba...your grand daughter was however, a tubelight! Pardon her ignorance.
Good thing is, she has learned it during this lifetime itself. That is some achievement!

:))
Leaving you with a thought...comments invited

Yes, newsreading was a childhood dream...and yes, I know you could do that

Part I, Scene I (Chitchat in common room)

"Yeah have been reading English news for the All India Radio for some time now" ...

[xxx] What?!!But why dear, what would you do with all the money?!

"---???"
[Money? Where does that come from? Everyone is not after $$$ dearie! Otherwise I would not have left the job that paid me almost double of what I take home presently]

"No no...it was just a childhood dream."

[xxx] You dreamt of becoming a Newsreader???!

"Um...well yeah, was never the ambitious kinds you know..."
[What's wrong with dreaming to be a newsreader...if I tell you that I wanted to be a sniper, a jockey, a bus driver, a painter, a potter, you would hit the ceiling perhaps...let me avert a casualty then]

Part I, Scene II

[xxx] Hey, I heard you the other day...it sure is an easy way for some extra bucks; let me know when they are recruiting next. You know I could do better than you. One just has to read the script man!

"Hmm...am sure you can; am new to things, would take some time to figure out how to do it well."
[It's an easy thing to snipe at dearie. If it's done well it looks very simple, but if it's done badly, everyone can tell. But recruitment? Didn't you consider it meanly?]

Part II, Scene I (flashback to training sessions)

[yyy] It is 'in creeeeese', used as a verb dear, and not 'innnn crease', which is a noun. Why do you confuse your verbs with nouns??

"Uh...yes, I would take care the next time"
[Well, because they spell the same...how on earth am I gonna get the difference so quickly...while reading the text in a rapid flow?! Give me a break!]

[yyy] No no no...you are just so staccato. Clearly, you have not been practising, I am so disappointed!

"Just a bit nervous, I guess..."
[Stakatu..wazat? ...Would definitely look it up in dictionary and correct myself]

[yyy] Are you fond of music?

"Sort of..."
[??? where did that come from?]

[yyy] Well, you seem to be, because you are rendering a musical score here...why such sing song?

"---"
[Ouch! That was nasty and mean; sob sob...]

Part III, Scene I (On air finally)

"This is All India Radio; the news read by Sunanda Bharti"
[Wow! they are truly music to my ears...: )]

[ZZZ] Shuffle shuffle...rustle rustle (order of the news sheets being changed to accommodate a breaking news) Whisper...Raj Thakery's arrest to go first madam.

"MNS chief Raj Thackeray was today arrested for his alleged involvement in the attack on north Indian candidates appearing for a railway recruitment examination."
[yes, yes I got it, now get out of the studio and let me concentrate on the news @#$%@#$%!]

"Reports form the war front suggest that Sri Lankan military has pushed deeper into LTTE heart land of Kilinochchi and Mullaithivu; fierce encounters took place at Akkarayankulam and Iranamadu yesterday"
[They should be taxed extra for keeping such names for places...@#$%&]

And finally, a word from me directly...yes newsreading might sound easy, but it sounds easy because the newsreader is good, believe me on that!

Imagine yourself in a studio environment, time-out has been signalled and you are on air, live that is. And now you have 5 minutes to read the news, which the world is ready to tune in to...someone whispers a new direction in your ear, or simply the editor enters the studio to put a new sheet of paper carrying a new news piece...something which you did not get time to read through and rehearse before...try and read something out loud while someone whispers something in your ear. You mustn't stop, pause or react, yet you must understand what's being said.

it is anything but easy...

"You need to be a swan", says Anna Worcester, UK and I agree...you need to be cool, calm and in control on the surface, with your brain working overtime in order to keep to time, sound authoritative, fluent, give correct pauses and emphasis, use correct intonation and modulation... and ofcourse understand what you're talking about.

I have just started and I feel it's fun once you get the hang of it, and provided you are passionate enough.

Wish me luck! :)

दिवाली की बहुत बहुत शुभकामनाएं

दोस्तों, पता नहीं आप लोगों को ये कविता याद है कि नहीं...दूसरी या तीसरी कक्षा मैं पढ़ी ये प्यारी सी पंक्तियाँ, स्मृति मैं ज्यों आयीं तो चेहरे पर मुस्कान तो बिखेर गई, साथ ही ये एहसास भी करा गई कि दीपो का ये त्यौहार अब उतना सरल रहा नहीं। पटाखों के शोर मैं इसका औचित्य कहीं खो सा गया है...खैर, ये समय है खुशियाँ मनाने का...तो आशा है कि आप कि यह दिवाली आप सब के लिए खुशिओं कि सौगात ले कर आए...

दीप जलाओ दीप जलाओ
आज दिवाली रे

खुशी खुशी सब हंसते आओ
आज दिवाली रे

नए नए मैं कपड़े पहनू

खाऊन खूब मिठाई

हाथ जोड़ कर पूजा कर लूँ

आज दिवाली आई

मैं तो लूँगा खील खिलोने

तुम भी लेना भाई

फुल्झादियाँ अब खूब जलाओ

आज दिवाली रे

आज दुकाने खूब सजी हैं

घर भी जगमग जगमग करते

सुंदर सुंदर दीप जले हैं

कितने अच्छे लगते

दीप जलाओ दीप जलाओ

आज दिवाली रे

नाचो गाओ खुशी मनाओ

आज दिवाली रे

:)