Sunday, March 31, 2019

Saree, Societal Mindset and Notions of Sobriety



Looking younger than your age might be godsent, but is not exactly a boon. Not for a teacher involved inImage result for saree and societal mindset cartoon adult pedagogy at least. You simply are not taken seriously enough, till that grey wisdom peeps out of your hair colour. This devastating realisation dawned on me upon joining the law college as a teacher years ago. The frivolous and often disdainful coevals, apprehensive students, administrative staff wanting to teach me (the poor child) law all over again—collectively were frustrating enough to offset any advantage that looking young might have.

The matters became frustratingly desperate when I ran out of patience pulling out my teachers’ ID card, to enter most of the university premises. Because though I carried a qualification in my bag, I did not have looks to match. So profound was the effect of this generic maltreatment that I once considered dyeing my tresses white a` la Indira Gandhi style, hoping for a quick-fix solution.

Thankfully, soon enough I realised the power of the ‘Saree’-the quintessential unstitched 9 yards! ‘Dress casually and people around you would take you as casually.’ This is the wisdom of the years which I would want to share. What you wear as a teacher has a profound effect on the wearer and an equally amusing result on the onlookers, audience and students. For instance, I now feel like Moses crossing the Red Sea while passing corridoors packed with students. The previously nonchalant and stubborn crowd simply parts in veneration upon my approach.

Taking you to the other aspect of the issue—it is uncomfortably true that we do not live in a free world. We live in a world deeply fragmented by prejudiced opinions and infested with a patriarchal mindset. Every day, my country awakes to a dawn where judgements about others come free and flippant, opinioniated men and women ‘jump’ to conclusions in the only excercise they do. The idea behind writing this piece is not to support these moral guardians. The aim rather is just to share the practical wisdom gained while working around such high-minded junkies.

Of course, legally speaking one has the right to wear what one wants. However, practically speaking, that ‘liberty’ to wear anything and yet be respected, comes with a certain lapse of time and painstaking character building. Fortunately, I am at that liberating juncture of professional life now—thanks to the Saree. Kudos to the garment, that stifling and annoying glances of disapproval were supplanted by concurring feelings of being accepted as a serious (read deserving) professional. Had I dyed my hair grey, I genuinely feel I would have been promoted up the ladder of success sooner!

Coming to the third offshoot of the discussion; saree which has lost favour with the young and the not-so-young generation alike, invites strange questions—why a saree?; how do you manage to dress up in a saree everyday? What do I tell them?—my experience has been that people around you credit you with any modicum of intelligence and esteem only when you appear a certain way?! When I see them struggling to make their mark and strike a chord with students much senior in age and experience, the nostalgia is painful. And the urge to shoot an advice intensely compelling.

Being a teacher of Negotiation and Mediation course, where body language plays a part, I cannot overemphasize the power of non-verbal and paralinguistic communication. Skeptics ofcourse would understate its importance. To all those, I have just one argument to offer—ever wondered why we (most of us) dress up for the destination while going to a wedding, a star hotel? Why we pull out those long-forgotten ties, suits and sarees from the closet when faced with an interview? The science of dressing up is linked with ‘good first impression’. And with the teaching profession, it translates into being a lasting impression. ‘Enclothed cognition’--the systematic effect that clothes have on the wearers psychological process, works both ways in my opinion. It also does affect the one who interacts with you.

Frankly, having dealt with the two extremes—one, for whom clothes define your credentials and potential as a teacher and the other generation who does not give two hoots to what they wear to their professional space, I can safely claim the above. There is absolutely no harm in accepting it, and adopting the pragmatism that it dictates.

Finally, YES the orthodox mind needs to free itself from the clutches of a parochial mentality; just as the new generation also needs to learn the lost art and discipline of dressing up for their professional arena. Their solace need not be a saree necessarily. But a thought in that direction is definitely required.

May the Trinity Prevail (II)



Image result for bullshit superstitions cartoon
 Image Credit: The Internet


May the Trinity Prevail!
The problem with Bulls**t is that even the Bull does not seem to mind others partaking it! Especially when some of us do it with such an aplomb.
To share an example, my friend’s mother in law is truly gifted. Not long ago, she acquired an honorary doctorate in superstitions and ever since she has been personally seeing to their implementation, in her household at least. Her favorite notion being the legendary ‘inauspiciousness’ surrounding the number 3. "Arey teen log saath mat jao, kaam nahin baneyga." (Dont proceed for work in a group of three, lest the task might not be accomplished) We three friends often hear this, instead of a regular ‘good luck’ when we venture out for anything together.
Needless to say that we never insist on the logic of it (but hardly ‘obey’). Arguing with ‘Mother-in-Law’ logic is like trying to convince the opposition party to support the ruling one. However, fond as she is of me, I did try once. I jokingly questioned whether the friend, who incidently has ‘three’ children should give one into adoption, if the number was so ominous. Gauging her reaction, I felt like a prosecution witness gone hostile by testifying/supporting the other party. I caould sense that she mentally deleted me from her good books right then!
Coming to superstitions, I have often wondered if they hold any wisdom; particularly if there is any, behind considering the number of 'three' as a bad augury. I find none. On the contrary, I am able to give numerous instances of it being a good/relevant sign/symbol (wish the MIL is reading this!).
An averagely devout Hindu, is likely to have firm faith in the Trinity. It is believed that Brahma, the creator, created this beautiful Earth, all replete and complete with resources; Vishnu, is the lord responsible for preserving it; and Mahesh is the lord of destruction. Three Godesses viz. Saraswati, Lakshmi and Parvati ably support them as their consorts. Devalok, Mirttyu loka and Pataal lok are believed to be the abodes of Deva's, Manushya's and Asura's respectively.
Speaking of the Trinity, the significance of the mythical third eye of Lord Shiva cannot be overlooked. ('Trinetra' is often used as a synonym for the lord). The significance of Triveni Sangam, the point of confluence of three great Indian rivers- Ganga, Yamuna and the mythical Saraswati is etched in the ancient texts. Then….Bhakti, Gyana and Karma are believed to be the three paths to attain mokhsa. Satyam Shivam Sundaram is another Hindu belief.
Buddhism gives the mantra of 'Buddham sharnam gachchami, Dhammam sharnam gachchami, Sangham sharnam gachchami.' Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha being the three goals or destinations.
For those not so religiously inclined, all 'matter' on Earth exists in three states-solid, liquid and gaseous. 'Atom', the basic constituent consists of three main parts- proton, neutron and electron. Physics, Chemistry and Biology are the three main streams of Science. Winter, summer and rainy season constitute the climate cycle on Earth.
Leaving aside Earth, and coming to earthlings--three basic traits- personality, perceptions and priorities define a human being, and differentiate him/her from another of the same species. All jobs taken by this human being may be classified into three categories--mental, manual and menial.
The prefix 'the great' is associated with three great men about whom we read in history-Alexander, Ashoka and Akbar. Those who are not so great strive to attain three basic necessities of life- roti, kapda aur makaan. The Lion Capital at Sarnath has three visible lions in the sitting posture. We have adopted it as the National emblem.
Poverty, population and pollution sum up the anathema with which our planet is afflicted.
Having acquired legal education, I can safely vouch that most litigation in this country is concentrated around three matters-zar, zoru and zameen.
Many more examples can be added to the above list. They may verge from silly to serious. The point in writing this piece is to counter a belief/a superstition to which no logical interpretation can be given. Even the old adage- 'two is company, three is crowd (while two can be in agreement, three will always be in argument), defies any logic now. Because, ‘three’ is the minimum quorum required in mediation, which is an alternative mechanism to resolve disputes!
To sum it up, nothing justifies a complete ostracization of three! May the Trinity prevail!