The difference...

On several occasions, either voluntarily or otherwise (read out of ignorance) we use words that are meant to convey one meaning but they (the words) tend to deliver something totally different. That something totally different has been conveyed than what was meant, can be perceived only by a keen mind. Such a keen mind, I, very immodestly proclaim to possess. Impudent! So be it. (It's much better than being pathetically and artificially modest.)

One of the finest examples of how words convey an altogether different meaning arises when people say that they are "feeling very alone". One can never feel alone; one can only be alone. It signifies that one is solitary. That there is nobody around him/her. One can feel lonely though. This can happen even when people surround one. It can easily be associated with boredom, jilted lovers, people who are ever brooding and pensive…. and the like.

Then, one often says that one is not 'creative' enough. Creativity, they say can be acquired. No, it cannot be. Now this is entirely my perception. I believe that creativity is inherent, it's in your blood, it's God's gift. If one is not creative, one simply cannot be. It is not a property open to acquisition. Controversial? Let it be. What happens to those who are not blessed? They can acquire something else…'talent'. Yes. There is a difference between talent and creativity. Talents, acumen, skills …all can be acquired through repitition, slogging, practice and so on. So what is the difference between a talented person and a creative person? The former treads the beaten path, goes by general rules, and aims to touch the horizon. The latter creates those paths, goes by exceptions, and knows no horizon. His/her frontiers are seamless.

It often happens that people don't listen to what one has to say. Some other times, they 'only' listen. What problem can I possibly have to this one! The problem is that it is better not to listen than to 'only' listen devoid of attention. One listens when one's hearing faculties are unimpaired. This is involuntary, by default you may say. But when one pays attention as well, one's mental faculties work in conjugation with the sense organs. Attention requires some deliberation.

A topic favorite of Sherlock Holmes or rather Sir Doyle was to explain the difference between observation and seeing. In one of the stories, (which I believe was never penned by Sir Doyle but by an ardent fan of Holmes) Holmes and Watson are camping on a mountaintop. Rising from sleep one night Holmes remarks "Watson, I bet you can't see what I observe." Peeved, Watson starts listing the things that he can see. "I see the stars, and the beautiful moon." "And", says Holmes. "I see the foliage all immersed in moonlight" "Very poetic indeed Watson. And nothing else I suppose?" Exasperated, at such an irritating supposition, Watson answers in the negative. "Pray enlighten me to what else you percieve in this moonlit night!" he demanded. "That" answered Holmes in his characteristic coolness, "our tent has been stolen." The explanation is much the same. One sees all right if one's eyesight is OK, but one is able to percieve a lot more if he/she exercises his mental faculties as well.

Praise, admiration is different from flattery or sychophancy. One praises someone or thing from one's heart. Admiration is always rooted in truth. If it is not, it is nothing but hollow flattery. Flattery on the other hand is always rooted in some vested interest.

Having said the substantial part of what I wanted to say, I wish the readers to come to my aid in one particular aspect. There ought to be some difference between 'being helpful' and 'getting yourself exploited'. So many thoughts surround me all at once that I get confused. When is help sought or when should it be sought? When should it be given? Should one come to one's aid without being asked for? This surely cannot be converted into a general rule, for after all we are not all-good Samaritans or officious beings. If one, without trying even once to help oneself seeks help; does it not amount to getting exploited? Or do the norms change according to who the person seeking help is? Suppose, he/she is a good friend, then?

Till the time I get adequate inputs or am able to independently organize my own thoughts on the point, I think it appropriate to give a pause to this piece.

Sunanda Bharti

Dated: February 16, 2002