Saree, Societal Mindset and Notions of Sobriety

Looking younger than your age might be godsent, but is not exactly a boon. Not for a teacher involved in adult pedagogy at least. You simply are not taken seriously enough, till that grey wisdom peeps out of your hair colour. This devastating realisation dawned on me upon joining the law college as a teacher years ago. The frivolous and often disdainful coevals, apprehensive students, administrative staff wanting to teach me (the poor child) law all over again—collectively were frustrating enough to offset any advantage that looking young might have.

The matters became frustratingly desperate when I ran out of patience pulling out my teachers’ ID card, to enter most of the university premises. Because though I carried a qualification in my bag, I did not have looks to match. So profound was the effect of this generic maltreatment that I once considered dyeing my tresses white a` la Indira Gandhi style, hoping for a quick-fix solution.

Thankfully, soon enough I realised the power of the ‘Saree’-the quintessential unstitched 9 yards! ‘Dress casually and people around you would take you as casually.’ This is the wisdom of the years which I would want to share. What you wear as a teacher has a profound effect on the wearer and an equally amusing result on the onlookers, audience and students. For instance, I now feel like Moses crossing the Red Sea while passing corridoors packed with students. The previously nonchalant and stubborn crowd simply parts in veneration upon my approach.

Taking you to the other aspect of the issue—it is uncomfortably true that we do not live in a free world. We live in a world deeply fragmented by prejudiced opinions and infested with a patriarchal mindset. Every day, my country awakes to a dawn where judgements about others come free and flippant, opinioniated men and women ‘jump’ to conclusions in the only excercise they do. The idea behind writing this piece is not to support these moral guardians. The aim rather is just to share the practical wisdom gained while working around such high-minded junkies.

Of course, legally speaking one has the right to wear what one wants. However, practically speaking, that ‘liberty’ to wear anything and yet be respected, comes with a certain lapse of time and painstaking character building. Fortunately, I am at that liberating juncture of professional life now—thanks to the Saree. Kudos to the garment, that stifling and annoying glances of disapproval were supplanted by concurring feelings of being accepted as a serious (read deserving) professional. Had I dyed my hair grey, I genuinely feel I would have been promoted up the ladder of success sooner!

Coming to the third offshoot of the discussion; saree which has lost favour with the young and the not-so-young generation alike, invites strange questions—why a saree?; how do you manage to dress up in a saree everyday? What do I tell them?—my experience has been that people around you credit you with any modicum of intelligence and esteem only when you appear a certain way?! When I see them struggling to make their mark and strike a chord with students much senior in age and experience, the nostalgia is painful. And the urge to shoot an advice intensely compelling.

Being a teacher of Negotiation and Mediation course, where body language plays a part, I cannot overemphasize the power of non-verbal and paralinguistic communication. Skeptics ofcourse would understate its importance. To all those, I have just one argument to offer—ever wondered why we (most of us) dress up for the destination while going to a wedding, a star hotel? Why we pull out those long-forgotten ties, suits and sarees from the closet when faced with an interview? The science of dressing up is linked with ‘good first impression’. And with the teaching profession, it translates into being a lasting impression. ‘Enclothed cognition’--the systematic effect that clothes have on the wearers psychological process, works both ways in my opinion. It also does affect the one who interacts with you.

Frankly, having dealt with the two extremes—one, for whom clothes define your credentials and potential as a teacher and the other generation who does not give two hoots to what they wear to their professional space, I can safely claim the above. There is absolutely no harm in accepting it, and adopting the pragmatism that it dictates.

Finally, YES the orthodox mind needs to free itself from the clutches of a parochial mentality; just as the new generation also needs to learn the lost art and discipline of dressing up for their professional arena. Their solace need not be a saree necessarily. But a thought in that direction is definitely required.

May the Trinity Prevail (II)

 Image Credit: The Internet

May the Trinity Prevail!

The problem with Bulls**t is that even the Bull does not seem to mind others partaking it! Especially when some of us do it with such an aplomb.

To share an example, my friend’s mother in law is truly gifted. Not long ago, she acquired an honorary doctorate in superstitions and ever since she has been personally seeing to their implementation, in her household at least. Her favorite notion being the legendary ‘inauspiciousness’ surrounding the number 3. "Arey teen log saath mat jao, kaam nahin baneyga." (Dont proceed for work in a group of three, lest the task might not be accomplished) We three friends often hear this, instead of a regular ‘good luck’ when we venture out for anything together.

Needless to say that we never insist on the logic of it (but hardly ‘obey’). Arguing with ‘Mother-in-Law’ logic is like trying to convince the opposition party to support the ruling one. However, fond as she is of me, I did try once. I jokingly questioned whether the friend, who incidently has ‘three’ children should give one into adoption, if the number was so ominous. Gauging her reaction, I felt like a prosecution witness gone hostile by testifying/supporting the other party. I caould sense that she mentally deleted me from her good books right then!

Coming to superstitions, I have often wondered if they hold any wisdom; particularly if there is any, behind considering the number of 'three' as a bad augury. I find none. On the contrary, I am able to give numerous instances of it being a good/relevant sign/symbol (wish the MIL is reading this!).

An averagely devout Hindu, is likely to have firm faith in the Trinity. It is believed that Brahma, the creator, created this beautiful Earth, all replete and complete with resources; Vishnu, is the lord responsible for preserving it; and Mahesh is the lord of destruction. Three Godesses viz. Saraswati, Lakshmi and Parvati ably support them as their consorts. Devalok, Mirttyu loka and Pataal lok are believed to be the abodes of Deva's, Manushya's and Asura's respectively.

Speaking of the Trinity, the significance of the mythical third eye of Lord Shiva cannot be overlooked. ('Trinetra' is often used as a synonym for the lord). The significance of Triveni Sangam, the point of confluence of three great Indian rivers- Ganga, Yamuna and the mythical Saraswati is etched in the ancient texts. Then….Bhakti, Gyana and Karma are believed to be the three paths to attain mokhsa. Satyam Shivam Sundaram is another Hindu belief.

Buddhism gives the mantra of 'Buddham sharnam gachchami, Dhammam sharnam gachchami, Sangham sharnam gachchami.' Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha being the three goals or destinations.

For those not so religiously inclined, all 'matter' on Earth exists in three states-solid, liquid and gaseous. 'Atom', the basic constituent consists of three main parts- proton, neutron and electron. Physics, Chemistry and Biology are the three main streams of Science. Winter, summer and rainy season constitute the climate cycle on Earth.

Leaving aside Earth, and coming to earthlings--three basic traits- personality, perceptions and priorities define a human being, and differentiate him/her from another of the same species. All jobs taken by this human being may be classified into three categories--mental, manual and menial.

The prefix 'the great' is associated with three great men about whom we read in history-Alexander, Ashoka and Akbar. Those who are not so great strive to attain three basic necessities of life- roti, kapda aur makaan. The Lion Capital at Sarnath has three visible lions in the sitting posture. We have adopted it as the National emblem.

Poverty, population and pollution sum up the anathema with which our planet is afflicted.

Having acquired legal education, I can safely vouch that most litigation in this country is concentrated around three matters-zar, zoru and zameen.

Many more examples can be added to the above list. They may verge from silly to serious. The point in writing this piece is to counter a belief/a superstition to which no logical interpretation can be given. Even the old adage- 'two is company, three is crowd (while two can be in agreement, three will always be in argument), defies any logic now. Because, ‘three’ is the minimum quorum required in mediation, which is an alternative mechanism to resolve disputes!

To sum it up, nothing justifies a complete ostracization of three! May the Trinity prevail!

Exploring your Surroundings...Part II

The Key to reading the above map:

Color Coding:

• The green area is the Northern Ridge (now known as the Kamala Nehru Ridge), the greenest portion of Aravali’s left in the city.
• Blue area is the River Yamuna
• Yellow area is the Red Fort (Lal Quila)
• The red outline is roughly the area of what was known as Shahjehanabad, the Seventh city or the ‘Walled City’. It was ‘Dilli’, the city during the mid-later 19^th century. Later, it seems, even the outskirts were included and the entire area was branded as Old Delhi, just to contrast it with Lutyen’s Delhi, which was being built down South. Note how the Red Fort comes within the folds of Old Delhi and how it touches the banks of River Yamuna. Before the river was forced to recede, it must have been much closer to the fort.
• The black squarish dots are various places of historical importance.
• The colored and numbered dots (11 in all) are the important places associated with the 1857 mutiny.

Number Name of the place

1 Kashmere Gate

2 Nigambodh Gate

3 Delhi Gate

4 Turkman Gate

5 Ajmeri Gate

These are/were, it seems, the 5 existing gates of the city being defended by the mutineers (during 1857), who had barricaded themselves within the city walls. In all, there were 10 gates into Shahjehanabad . The British attack came primarily from Ludlow Castle (10) and Qudsia Bagh (11), just outside the city walls and very near to Kashmere Gate (1), which was finally breached by the British.

6 Red Fort

7 Delhi University/Viceregal Lodge

8 Flagstaff Tower

9 Chowburzi Masjid

10 Ludlow Castle

11 Qudsia Bagh

Now to proceed with the story…it is believed that baffled by the fall of Delhi into rebel hands, Lord Canning, the then Governor General, stationed at Calcutta took some severe measures. One was to deploy army units at all possible places on the outskirts of Dilli. This was somewhere in May 1857. The Baadli area was under the occupation of the rebel sepoys …the British unit coming from the north of Baadli confronted the rebels and pursued them till the northern ridge (yellow area on the map). Thereafter, the ridge became an important territory for the British because of it’s strategic location. Delhi (Dilli) lies (lay) on the west bank of the river Yamuna. There were ten gates leading into the city out of which three were near the ridge. The ridge thus afforded an ideal defensive position for the British. Also the northern half of the ridge was outside the range of the guns mounted on the walls of Dilli. The area to the ridge's west was protected by the Najafgarh Drain which was a complete water obstacle.

While in the ridge they constructed a number of structures…the Flagstaff Tower (pics below) and two guard gates (at least that is what they seem to be) on the north and south of the Flagstaff Tower. The records say that unable to take the Baadli defeat, the rebel sepoys launched a number of attacks and counter attacks on the British army units stationed on the ridge, but every attempt was thwarted primarily because the sepoys inside Dilli were a highly disorganised and unruly mob. They had no unified leadership. Bahadur Shah Zafar, their forced titular head was just an ailing 85 year old who had no intention or inclination to lead the sepoys…infact history says that given a choice, he would have sided with the British who were giving him some pension atleast!

Pics of the ridge

Old Viceregal Lodge (see map for location), presently the office of the Vice Chancellor of the Delhi University…early morning fog beginning to lift.

During the British times, the moment Viceroy used to move out of the place, a bugle sounded at the Flagstaff Tower (see map)…’Laat Saheb’, as he was popularly called, used to then proceed towards the civil lines area on an official routine inspection. Civil Lines, as already mentioned, served as the makeshift capital of Delhi till the time Lutyen was ready with his version, that is, from 1912-1931.

The Flagstaff Tower …from a distance, now all renovated by the Archaeological Survey of India.

Closer profile of the Flagstaff Tower…the Union Jack used to add colour to the flag pole that is still there (see picture closely). I suggest that we should have the Indian Tricolour now…any penny for my thoughts?! ; )

As mentioned in the earlier narrative, when the British occupied this place during the revolt of 1857, due to its strategic location, they constructed many structures. One of such structures you can see in the picture is the Guard House…there are two such buildings in the Northern Ridge—on the north and south of the Flagstaff Tower. The Guard Houses were obviously to keep an eye on the Sepoy activity below and to forewarn the British army of any danger. During the revolt, the British women and children gathered on the ridge to have a safe passage to Karnal through the greens (see map).

Northern Guard House

Southern Guard House

Slowly, the sepoys also lost Ludlow Castle, which they had earlier occupied, to the British. Ludlow Castle then became an additional post for the Brtish army. In quick succession, they occupied the neighboring Qudsia Gardens as well. Ludlow Castle and Qudsia Gardens were two very strategic positions as they were/are very near to the Kashmiri gate of Dilli (see map).

Pics of the Ludlow Castle and Qudsia Gardens (along with their history)

Entrance to Qudsia Gardens (see location on the map)…the place is as green as it must have been in the 1700’s and very tranquil. It is said that Qudsia Begum, the patroness of these gardens and after whom the garden has been named, was born Udham Bai, and was an 18th century dancing girl.

Huge trees still surround the pathways. The place was built by one Begum Qudsia, the Mistress of Mughal Emperor Muhammad Shah ‘Rangeelay’, one of the later Mughals who ascended to the throne of Delhi when the Mughal rule was in its twilight phase. He died in 1748.

Qudsia Bagh as it is known as, was originally near the river Yamuna, and was more a camping ground than a formal garden. The Emperor, it is believed, came here on extended picnics that included jackal-hunting.

The mutiny of 1857 marred the beauty of the place. The Indian rebels barricaded themselves inside the Walled City (Dilli) to which the nearby Kashmere Gate was an entrance; the British, therefore, occupied Qudsia Bagh and made it their battery. In the subsequent shelling, hundreds died and Qudsia Bagh, not surprisingly, was more or less ruined (see map to get a better idea). Today, only three monuments remain in Qudsia Bagh: the entrance gate (as seen in the picture a very simple structure of cement and lakhauri bricks), the mosque, and the Baradari.

The structure clearly requires maintenance…plaster coming off at various places.

The inside walls of the gate…

This was the Baaradari once (an open airy pavilion—an archeological structure typical of the Mughal architecture…) caused to be built by Begum Qudsia. Later when the British occupied the gardens during the revolt, many functional changes were made to the original building. Consequently, the building, as it is now, appears to be a very amusing blend of the two styles. This side of the building is typically British.

As you may see, the lakhuri brick part of the structure is old Baaradari and the remaining additions…stairs etc were added by the British.

The place has a Mosque as well…built again by Qudsia Begum.

Lush greens…singing/twittering of birds…total serenity take you to another world.

A brief mention of the Ludlow Castle, which was opposite the Qudsia Gardens. Now, the castle is no longer there…a government school by the same name runs on the very spot. Here is an archival photograph of Ludlow Castle, outside the walls of Delhi, India, taken by Felice Beato in 1858 during the Indian Mutiny. In September 1857, the British forces stormed Delhi from the area of Qudsia Gardens as well as Ludlow Castle, launching an attack on the nearby Kashmere Gate (see map for a better understanding).

Ludlow castle was a British residence built by a Dr Ludlow. Felice (Felix) Beato, a Venetian by birth, initially worked as a photographer in England. He can easily be branded as the official photographer of the Indian Mutiny (1857-1858).

The picture has been taken from the following website: http://www.defencejournal.com/2000/jan/dehli-campaign.htm.

In the first week of September, records say that the last Mughal issued a proclamation that he would personally lead an assault on the British position at the ridge. On 12 September, in response to this call, some 10,000 soldiers and civilians gathered near the Kashmiri Gate and awaited their leader (Bahadur Shah Zafar)…who never came!

Anyways, prior to that in August itself John Nicholson, about whom I have already written in the earlier post, had been commissioned to Delhi…Contrary to the Indian position, Nicholson led an able and organized attack against the Sepoys via the Kashmiri Gate, which was finally breached after a bloody battle. The Sepoy camp was not only disorganized and infested with stoolies; it had almost run out of gunpowder/ammunition and food and hence was in dire straits.

Nicholson died in the encounter but British had gained entrance into the city…they marched till the Red Fort, hunted for the Emperor (and found him hiding in the Humayun’s tomb), and his sons ...imprisoned the former in Rangoon (Burma) and murdered the latter in cold blood. The route that Bahadur Shah Zafar took while fleeing is presently known the same name…yes: the Bahadur Shah Zafar Marg. The bodies of his unfortunate sons were dumped just outside the ‘Kotwaali’ near the Delhi Gate , as bringing the mutilated remains into the city had the risk of sparking off another rebellion (BTW, the Darya Ganj Police Thaana, just opposite the Delhi Gate is exactly the place where the Kotwaali existed during 1857. Yes, that is precisely why the station is still known as Puraani Kotwaali, Darya Ganj!)

Radical Law or Magical Nanny McPhee to discipline parents?

Before you start to read, I am happy to share that the write-up was published by the Hindu, Open Page on Feb 17, 2019.

Here is a link to those who would like to read it there: https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/radical-law-or-magical-nanny/article26292053.ece

Happy reading! Comments invited.


Stubborn Child Law! I was quite intrigued the moment I set my eyes on the title of a write-up that exhorted about the liability of disobedient male children. This was Masachusetts in the 17th Century and more amazing is the fact that the law was not repealed until 1973! The contemporary times are, in my opinion, quite ready for an obverse law—one that defines the liability of parents for their kids’ bad behaviour. Radical as it may sound, if that ever becomes a law in India, more than half of even the ‘educated’ parents might end up being cast as guilty under it!

Pun aside, any such law, radical or (il)logical, would be socially undesirable for various reasons. However, that does not mean that parents should absolved of all responsibility for the misdeeds or even for the lack of basic civilities in their children. Sadly, in India embracing and displaying social graces and manners is an adult domain and their active teaching is conveniently abandoned. Children are expected to learn them ‘when’ they grow up and not as a part of their growth. The surmise is that suddenly, upon attaining a certain age, manners would automatically get downloaded in the childs microchip.

Till that divine intervention happens, they are allowed to scribble on walls-because any control there might just stifle their creativity and deprive the world of another Picasso. They can play outdoor games while being indoors (be it malls, restaurants or private residences) and yell and ricochet like a Jallikattu Bull. All this, while the bewildered host wonders how to get the George out of the jungle! They can pee in public for they are children afterall! And now that they are off diapers, they might as well make good irrigational use of their newfound ‘freedom’!Atrocious examples of such profound disinterest or complacency in disciplining ones own kids can be multiplied.

Last week I had to play host and guide to a Japanese Family with kids, on a heritage trip to the Old Fort. After the mandatory distribution of chocolates amongst children, I could not help but notice that kids were not eating any of those—all because there was no waste bin in sight to throw the wrapper in! With astonishment and praise of the dropped jaw variety, I found myself getting flashes of a contra memory. Memory of an Indian parent chiding his kid for not wiping his face properly after eating the golgappas –and then throwing the paper plate and napkin on the road! Any Nirmal Bharat or Swachch Bharat assertions are possible with this mentality, I wonder...

I do not claim to be an expert at parenting. Just an observant mother spoilt into logical thinking by legal education. And in my opinion, one question that begs attention is this—should we leave everything to the ‘oh-so-inadequate’ education system of the country for doing a messy job with kids or should we finally accept that there is something systemically warped in our own style of nurturing our young ones?

Indulgent Indian parents remain so besotted with inculcating an aggressive spirit of pursuing good academic scores in their wards, that children grapple with basic civic sense, civility, humility and compassion.

‘Be a leader’, one school motto says; and teachers doggedly insist that the child would ‘lag behind’, if s/he does not become ‘initiative driven’. The parents, in response, bludgeon that child with impossible number of tuitions and coaching. Only if we could collectively realise that leaders have to be good followers first—followers of a mannered, disciplined and civil life, which only parents can provide, leading by example. Whether we need a law to achieve that or only a magical Nanny McPhee can put us on the path of self correction is for us to consider and answer.

Mess is bad. It should always be

SUCH reckless and unnecessarily emotional babyhood or motherhood extolling tweets trouble me. Not only babyhood, we do not live any age twice for that matter.

So my suggestion would be never to align yourself with any mess. Ever.

Babies or kids are very perceptive and observant. They learn from us. If we offer them comfort in mess, they are likely to internalise being around mess as 'normal'. Messy surroundings, messy environment, messy eating, messy head and messing around... It would be totally unjust on our part to get them to discipline themselves all of a sudden upon growing up. Because we must reap what we have sown.

Say no to mess. Not even once. Never. What is wrong per se, has to be wrong always.